LOVE&EFFORT.

Well, I guess this is my first blog????

Usually in a first blog people would talk about who they are and introduce themselves to the world, however, I have had something on my mind for quite a while, that I believe would make a good post.

Lets start off with some definitions...

effort

ˈɛfət/

noun

1. 1.

a vigorous or determined attempt.

"in an effort to reduce inflation, the government increased interest rates"

synonyms:attempt, try, endeavour; More

love

lʌv/

noun

noun: love; plural noun: loves

1. 1.

a strong feeling of affection.

"babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"

synonyms:deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment, endearment;More

antonyms:hatred

The main questions for these definitions is, what do they have in common? To find the root of how these both intertwine with each other, I'm going to finally share something that's been on my chest...

I feel like I've been making an effort to be with someone for a while now, however, I feel like i am the one constantly making the effort... *Geeez I thought it would be easy to write about this*... What I'm trying to say is, I've noticed that I'm the one who was always asking if he was free for a coffee or not, (keeping in mind that he's had a pretty busy schedule this year). It came to a point where I had to ask myself, "Is he waiting for a day to spend the most time with me, or is he just avoiding me?". I noticed over time, he only asked me for coffee once. Well he suggested it, he didn't really ask I guess. I've talked to a few close friends recently about what I should do about this situation, and so far I'm getting the same response from everyone...

"LET. HIM. GO"

And I would agree, if I was standing from the sidelines watching action take place... But leaving the action is harder than it looks.

This is where we get into the second definition...

I love this guy. I have had strong feelings of affection for him for a while now, and I got a pretty clear impression that he felt the same way. Whether he still feels the same way or not is the question. We used to go to the same school, but he wound up moving and I was convinced that he would find someone else at his new school. Someone who he could see everyday, and not have to worry about what their friends thought of him. There are times when I think that this was all some joke, but then I look back at the old messages. Messages that made me feel like I was loved, messages that made me feel like someone appreciated me for the person I was. So I don't understand why we haven't talked in so long. I don't understand how we now have to see each other more (forgot to mention we were working on something together whoopsies), but can't look at each other face to face or talk for that matter. It's almost like, because of the school I go to, and the drama that happened, and the friends I have, I'm a burden to him. Maybe he thinks I blew him off... Idk. It's extremely hard to think about, it's these thoughts that keep me up at night. I almost regret spending the majority of my time wondering whether this boy truly loves me or not, whether this boy is finally going to make the effort or not, when there could be another person out there who will TRULY show his LOVE & EFFORT for me. I know I should be talking to him about this, but I honestly don't know how anymore. For now I'll wait. I'll wait and see if he makes the effort he promised and ask me for one. darn. coffee. I'll wait and see if he still feels the same way he did about me 4 months ago when he greeted me with roses and hugs. But when his time is up, I'm moving on.

Back to my previous question, how do the words 'Love' and 'Effort' intertwine... Well, it's simply this.

When someone truly loves you, they will make the effort for you.

I guess this blog was either an insight of my thoughts and feelings for relation or enjoyment, or a wake up call to a particular person. Just know that if you truly love someone, don't be afraid to make the effort, because it's the only way a person can tell if you love them or not...

At this moment in time, I wouldn't know, because I feel avoided almost. Hopefully he comes around. Either way, I'll find some understanding and sympathy for his choice, because no matter how much people tell me to let a person go, something about them will always hold a place in me.

There's more I would write to fill in the gaps, but I'll share that soon...

Until next time

- P